To Begin Again
by hauntedlullabies
Summary: After having separated from the X-Men in an attempt to live a normal life, Alex Summers never thought he'd see his old flame Hank McCoy again. When his brother has a crisis that only a certain mutant can solve, they meet again for the first time in 20 years. At 36, Alex already has a life away from the one Hank had stayed close to. Is getting back together worth the risk?
1. Chapter 1 - Aftermath

If someone were to ask Alex how many years it had been since he last saw Hank McCoy, he'd be able to tell them it was 20 without hesitation. That number had a permanent home in the back of his mind, never in present thought yet nestled in with other information, ready to be retrieved from memory. All the time that had passed was more like a blur, but with certain moments where he'd remember specific details or events or feelings clearly. He would allow the thoughts to cloud his mind- because they always left as soon as they came- and he was fine. That was before he was thrown into the deep end without warning.

He could barely register the reality in front of his own eyes. He was realizing that this wasn't just a thought or a memory, but the _real thing_ and he didn't know why he suddenly wasn't able to move. The tall man, coming down the stairs of a mansion that Alex once called home, hadn't noticed him just yet, granting him a few seconds to compose himself and attempt to free his mind of the past 20 years as it all came rushing back to him in a single moment. As soon as they made eye contact, Alex's mind blanked.

His mother had called him early that afternoon. She sounded like she had been crying, but was able to compose herself enough to speak with him. It was Scott; he'd had another incident at school. Hearing his mother's voice shake slightly as she recounted the events of Scott destroying the boys' bathroom and being expelled from yet another school district was enough to make his heart drop. His little brother was too reminiscent of him.

He rested his forehead in his hand as he sat on the edge of his bed, receiver held up to his ear. "I'll be right over, mom," he said, hesitating before hanging up. He wanted to ask how Scott was and talk to him himself, but he rationalized his thoughts, figuring he'd be able to do just that once he had arrived at his parents' house. He sat still for a minute. Only one solution to Scott's dilemma popped up in his mind, and it was the only one that was sure to work.

"I'm going to my parents' house. I'll be back later," he said, grabbing his coat. Will looked up from the novel in his lap, set down his tea on the coffee table on the side of the couch.

"How long are you gonna be gone?" Alex reached for his car keys.

"Not sure. I'll be home later."

"Well, when is 'later?'"

"Will, I have to go," Alex pressed, hoping he would get the hint that it was an urgent matter. Will crossed his arms in a huff.

"Fine. Don't expect dinner to be waiting for you when you get back 'later.'" He focused back on his book and didn't look up again. Alex suppressed his eye roll until he got outside. He would have to deal with the silent treatment when he returned- he was sure of that.

Pulling into his parents' driveway was this surreal moment that almost made him blink twice. He hadn't been there in a while. There had been miscellaneous get-togethers here and there, but Alex spent most of his holidays at his own apartment with whoever was sharing it with him at the time. He still talked to his mother and father of course, just not as much considering that he lived an hour or so away and had his own life to keep up with. Scott was their primary focus, and really Alex didn't blame them. There weren't any parenting books on raising a mutant kid- let alone two.

Chris and Katherine looked like they were both hit by a bus when they opened the door. His father nodded at him, quiet, and his mother was wiping tears from her eyes. How bad was it? They didn't say much, just that Scott was up in his room. Alex's pulse quickened as he trudged up the steps, worst case scenarios about his baby brother popping up in his mind. The door was cracked slightly; Alex nudged it open as he knocked.

He stepped inside. Scott was sitting on his bed, knees hugged to his chest. The TV was on but he wasn't watching it. There was a thick white cloth tied around his head, covering his eyes. Alex noticed it looked a bit damp, assuming Scott had been crying too. He didn't say anything as Alex approached him, probably thinking it was his mother or father. Alex sat on the other side of the bed slowly, so he wouldn't startle him.

"Scott?" he asked. Scott perked up at the unexpected voice. He rubbed his nose.

"Alex? Is that you?" His voice was small, scared to sound out. Alex shifted closer to him.

"Yeah, it's me, Scott. What happened?" His hand reached out to him, but Alex was unsure if he wanted physical contact in such a vulnerable state. Scott's mutation was very similar to Alex's, and if he knew anything, it was that he hadn't thought too fondly of human interaction after having outbursts of his own. He figured Scott felt the same and lowered his arm back down to his side. Scott was silent for a minute or so, presumably trying to compose himself enough to properly speak. He sniffled.

"I...I-I can't open my eyes, Alex." A sob forced its way out of him, causing him to hunch over into his knees.

" _I can't open my eyes_."

Scott was weeping, the sound muffled by his jeans. His hands were shaking as he had them resting lightly at his sides. He wanted to remove the blindfold, just be able to rub the water from his eyes but refused to let himself do so. Alex was shocked at the sight before him, at the extreme level of distress hanging over his brother. He'd had it bad, but not this bad.

"Scott, listen to me," he began, standing up off the bed. Scott didn't lift his head.

"I'm gonna take you to someone who can help you." At that, Scott sucked in a breath and wiped his cheeks.

"Mom and dad tried that," he said. "I've already seen a hundred fucking therapists." Alex's heart broke at his words, but he would persist.

"No, Scott. I'm taking you to the person who helped _me_. He's the only person who can do this."

Scott let out an overwhelming breath, slumping his body against the wall behind him. His body language was an indication of many failed attempts to "cure" or "fix" him. Even though Scott knew the gist of Alex's past, he was still appropriately skeptical. But Alex just placed an affectionate hand on his shoulder, reassuring him that he knew what he was doing. He pulled his brother into a hug as he stood up after him.

"You're gonna be alright. You _will_ be able to control it," he said, feeling his little brother's arms tighten. He was just a kid; he didn't deserve to suffer like this.

When the two of them had arrived at the X Mansion, it was another surreal moment, and Alex barely kept his feet on the ground.

"Hank."

"Alex."

The two men shared a handshake as Alex's sanity was threatening to fall over the edge. He was smiling, and it was genuine, but the fact that Hank McCoy was standing in front of him in the flesh seemed too good to be true. It was like he hadn't aged a day since they were teenagers. He was older but barely looked any different than the Hank in Alex's memory. He suddenly felt self-conscious and very much aware of the fact that he had been putting off getting a haircut.

"How are you? It's been such a long time," Hank said, adjusting the books in his arm. Alex's heartbeat was prominent and noticeable and acting like it was begging for his attention.

"It has. I'm… I'm good. Yeah, I've been good. Just, life, you know?"

He couldn't believe how stupid he sounded.

"What are you doing here, after all this time?" Hank asked.

Alex didn't know the answer. Hank looked at Scott.

"Who's this?"

It clicked.

"Oh, right." Alex cleared his throat." This is my little brother, Scott. I'm taking him to see the professor."

Hank nodded to him. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Scott." Scott smiled weakly.

"So Hank," Alex began. "Is the professor around right now?" He'd realized he essentially just showed up unannounced. He had no idea if he and his brother would even be able to see him at all. But thankfully, Hank relieved him of his doubts. He pushed up his glasses.

"He's teaching a class right now, but it should be wrapping up. I can take you to him now if you'd like."

"That would be great, Hank, thank you."

He led Alex and Scott down the halls of the mansion, guiding them through the flood of students walking in all directions. Scott held onto Alex's arm as they walked, and Alex wished that Scott could be seeing everything in front of him. The interior was about the same as Alex had remembered it, save for the rooms being used as classrooms and the considerable amount of kids. It wasn't too long ago that it was him and a few others that lived there, under Charles's guidance. Now, it was overflowing; the number of possible mutations under this one roof was immeasurable.

Even with the fine wood flooring, the grand glass windows, and the aesthetically pleasing decorations, all Alex could see was Hank. Well, the back of him, but nonetheless he had almost walked Scott right into a potted plant. There were so many questions stirring in his mind and so many anecdotes he wanted to share with him. He felt the urge to explain every detail of the last 20 years of his life, but he kept quiet. There was a time and place for everything, and right now wasn't the ideal moment to overwhelm him with 'I miss yous' and 'I'm sorrys.'

However, one glance at his brother at his side was enough to sober him. They reached a narrow part of the building, tucked away in a random hall that was too obscure for Alex to truly remember. There was a group of young kids sitting in a circle, listening attentively to the man in the middle. Alex felt the smile on his lips spread wider.

"Read the chapter for your homework tonight, and don't forget there will be a quiz on Monday." Charles Xavier paused when he saw the three of them.

"Class dismissed." The room cleared out and Charles smiled directly at Alex.

"Do my eyes deceive me, or is that Alex Summers?" he asked, grinning brightly as he pulled him down to give him a hug.

With an affectionate pat on the back, he said, "It's wonderful to see you, Alex."

He was relieved and reassured by Charles's genuine pleasure at seeing him. He felt like an intruder, but he should have known that his old friend would only respond to him with open arms.

"You too, Charles. I'm glad to see you're doing well," he responded warmly. He meant it, too. Charles was much older than the last time he had seen him, but every line on his face was like a decoration. He aged well, and he even still had a good head of hair on him. He looked at the unfamiliar face that was accompanying Alex and Hank.

"Hello there, friend," he said, sticking out an arm despite the blindfold blocking Scott's vision. "I'm Professor Xavier, but there's really no use for formalities, so Charles will do just fine." Scott perked up at being addressed directly.

"Oh, I'm Scott. Nice to meet you." Alex helped his brother reach Charles's outstretched hand, and gave it a firm shake as soon as he got a hold of it. The look on the professor's face was indicative of him already taking a liking to Scott. Alex spoke up then.

"I brought Scott here to see you, Charles. He's been struggling with his mutation, and I figured you were the only one who could help him," he said, hope and plea present in his tone of voice though he wished they weren't. Even so, Charles took a good look at Scott, then nodded at Alex.

"It'd be my pleasure to help your brother, Alex." Scott's eyebrows raised at that.

"Hey, how did you know that I'm…"

With a chuckle, Charles pulled Scott to the side to talk with him on a further personal level. Alex would have to pay Charles back somehow for this, as he felt like he was only burdening him. From the looks of it, Charles already had a line of students in need of his help in getting ahold of their mutations. The guilt formulating in the pit of his stomach was churning, but he repressed it for now.

Hank turned to Alex as they were left to themselves for a minute or so.

"If you're not busy on Friday, I would love to get coffee and catch up," he offered, nonchalant and friendly. It was unexpected and a bit out of the blue, but Hank was never known to be spontaneous- he was always a man with a plan. The little pang in his chest came back.

"That sounds great," Alex said, agreeing on the spot. They shared a smile, and Alex was hoping for the best on Friday. He hadn't been this mash-up of nerves and excitement since he was 16.

* * *

 **A/N: Hey guys! Gosh, it's been a while since I've been active on this site. But X-Men: Apocalypse came on a little bit ago, and the part where Alex and Scott see Hank struck me with inspiration! I'm back on my bs with these two LOL. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy! xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2 - Happiness in Small Doses

"Was that really his favorite tree?"

Alex looked across the pond to the maple tree that Scott had split in half with his optic blasts. Charles had requested he remove the blindfold so he could observe the full power of his mutation. The charred wood was still burning in some places. Alex shrugged.

"I'm sure it was just like any other tree in the lot."

Alex had specifically remembered Charles telling them the story of how that had been the very first tree that his grandfather had planted upon arriving in the United States. It was his favorite spot as a boy, where he could sit and be by himself until the maid had called him back inside for dinner. Alex failed to mention this to Scott.

"Don't feel so bad about it, Scott. You've destroyed more valuable things in the past." He felt a swift punch to his arm and saw the smile on his brother's face. It made him smile too. After a moment, it dropped. Scott itched at the back of his head, where the cloth was tied securely in a knot.

"Charles was just… nice to me. When I destroyed his tree. Everybody always gets so pissed and I feel horrible." Scott picked at the sleeve of his jacket. This was exactly why Alex had brought him here, to the X Mansion, to Charles. He had complete faith in his former mentor in his ability to help Scott control his mutation, instead of allowing his mutation control over him. Alex would always have a fond place in his heart for those days back in '62. He would have been exactly like his brother and stayed that way if it weren't for the professor's guidance.

"Yeah, but Charles knows you can't help it. He gets it." Alex wrapped an arm around Scott's shoulders, leaning him into his embrace. His brother rested his head in the crook of his neck, his hair gently touching the side of Alex's face. The wooden park bench was not a comfortable spot, but it was bearable enough for a moment or two of moral support.

"Do you ever fully come to terms with your mutation?" Scott asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, is there a point where you actually get comfortable with it or even start to like it?" He sat up straight. "Or do you just deal with it enough that you get desensitized to it?"

Alex wasn't quite sure how to answer such a loaded question. He'd hoped that his brother would direct any and all inquiries as such to Charles, who knew practically everything there was to know about mutation. He did have his degrees in genetics, after all.

"I don't… I don't know. From my own experience, you kinda just learn to live with it. It's a part of you just like any other body part- or, something like that. And honestly," he looked down at his hands.

"I don't think we'll ever like our powers. Society hates us too much. You could be as arrogant and strong-willed as Erik, but at the end of the day, the shame is still there. Because we're mutants and it'll be a long time before the prejudice ends."

"Erik?"

"Talk to Charles enough and he'll tell you about him. He's a mutant like us, and very passionate about being 'mutant and proud.'"

Scott nodded in understanding. He was always good like that, being patient, being considerate. Scott was a sweet kid, and it broke Alex's heart that he couldn't catch a break with his mutation. As he had mentioned Erik, Alex wondered where he was these days. He hadn't noticed him inside the mansion, but granted, there were many students in there already, and many rooms and corridors. It was possible he had just missed him or he was in another room. The back of Hank's head was very distracting in the moment, so he had considered that as well. Even with the warmth that had wrapped itself around Alex's shoulders upon seeing old friends, it was cast aside by the guilty pit in his chest. He wanted to know how everyone was doing and where they were in their lives but knew he had no right to do so.

"Come on, let's head back. Mom's probably worried sick."

He had led him back to the car with some guidance and a "watch your head" and a laugh when Scott knocked his head on the door. Scott threatened him to laugh again or his front window would be melted through. Alex was grateful for moments like these.

They had been on the road for about a half hour when Scott spoke up, "So, that was Hank?" Alex almost swerved the car into oncoming traffic.

"What?"

"Hank. The one who took us to Charles. That was him?" Alex was having trouble piecing together Scott's reasoning for bringing it up.

"Uh, yeah, that was him. Why?" Scott shrugged and smiled, even though his brother couldn't see.

"Doesn't seem like your type. I'm surprised you're still hung up on-"

"Whoa whoa whoa, what?! That was _years ago_ , Scott. I am not 'hung up' on him."

"Dude, come on. I even had a _blindfold_ on."

Alex sighed, gripped the steering wheel tight, then loosened his grip. Scott knew him better than anyone else, and he might've been stumbling over his words a bit back there. What caught him off guard the most was that Scott remembered that story at all. He had told him that he dated a guy named Hank before being drafted, but there wasn't much more to it. At the time, he had tried to play it off like it wasn't that big of a deal, but his actions today might have proven otherwise.

"Was it really that bad?" he asked.

"Could've been worse," Scott said, sugarcoating his answer. Alex groaned. But that was the end of that for now, as the conversation drifted to lighter topics before he pulled into the driveway of his parents' house. Their goodbye was bittersweet, as Alex was reluctant to give him back to his parents, but he knew he would be back tomorrow to move him into the Mansion. Alex had offered to let Scott live with him way back when, but his parents had no intention of letting him out of their sight. Maybe Alex should've been happy that they wanted to be more present in Scott's life than they were in his, but there was a taste of spite that followed the thought. They hadn't wanted anything to do with their first child, but he guessed that they had no other option than to be active parents when mutant number two rolled around. He just hoped that Scott feels more appreciated and loved than he ever did.

He helped Scott out of the car and walked him to the front door. The sky was being stripped of daylight at an increasing rate as the first days of Autumn brushed the atmosphere. It was late afternoon, and Alex hadn't realized how long he and Scott had actually been gone. It felt like no time at all, and it felt like a chore to drop him off at home. Scott attacked him in a firm hug, and Alex was quick to hug him back.

"Thank you for doing this," he said.

"Anything for my baby brother." Scott didn't even hit him for that.

Upon arriving back at his own apartment, the fight he'd had with Will earlier came back to him like a smack to the head. He wasn't in the mood to deal with any of his petty arguing or unnecessary nagging right now. He rubbed his temples in the agony of the potential headache he's going to earn as soon as he walks through the door. There was the option of turning around and staying out, but he figured the confrontation with Will would only be postponed. He mustered up all his strength to trudge up the stairs and unlock his door.

The apartment was warm and smelled like vanilla. Will must've taken a bath, Alex assumed. There were candles burning, an open bottle of champagne on the table, and a rerun of Family Ties on the TV. Will definitely took a bath. A small smile crept its way onto Alex's lips, as he thought of his boyfriend's "spa days." He pampered himself when he was stressed or upset about something. It was cute.

Singing could be heard from around the corner, so Alex slowly crept toward the source. The bathroom door was slightly cracked, allowing Alex to peer in. Will was standing there in front of the mirror. He had an odd-colored goop all over his face, which Alex assumed to be for cosmetic purpose, and was singing to himself as he applied lotion to his arms and hands. He was even incorporating little dance moves to the rhythm he was creating. Alex couldn't suppress the laugh from coming out, even though he tried to, he really did.

Will's head whipped around to see Alex standing there. He gasped, then slammed the bathroom door shut in a fit of rage from his spa day being interrupted. Alex sighed. He didn't know why he even put up with Will sometimes, but nonetheless, he did. He kicked off his shoes and laid his jacket on the back of the couch before going up to the bathroom door again, this time knocking gently. It was quiet when he approached him the second time.

"Will? Are you still mad at me?" No response.

"Look, I'm sorry about earlier. I was just in a hurry. If you come out I'll tell you all about it," he offered, raising the pitch of his voice ever so slightly at the end of his words to pique Will's interest. The only sound from the other side of the door was rushing water. Alex leaned in closer to the door where he was centimeters away from resting his forehead against the wood. He spoke again but in a lower tone.

"Will, it was about Scott. He had an emergency." The water shut off and there was silence for a few more moments. He eventually heard the door being unlocked, so he stood up straight. Will, with a clean face, stepped out of the bathroom and looked up at him.

"Is Scott okay?" he asked. It was sincere even though he was not letting Alex completely off the hook. Alex nodded.

"He is now. I'm going back tomorrow to help him move into another school."

"Maybe he should be homeschooled, honestly."

"That's always an option, but I'm moving him into the school that I went to." This seemed to piece the information together in Will's mind. He leaned against the door frame.

"Why didn't you put him in that school before? Like, why go through all those expulsions when you could've avoided that altogether."

"Well, Mom and Dad didn't want to at first. But I finally got them to come around to it. Scott had become too out of control for human parents." He figured Will must've sensed the toll that this information had taken on Alex, as he wrapped his arms around the blond's neck, holding him closely. He smelled like vanilla and lavender.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Scott doesn't deserve any of that." Alex nuzzled Will's chestnut-brown hair, kissing him on the side of his head. His natural locks were a mess of waves and loose curls, and Alex liked it better this way. His primary stress melted away as the two stood in their embrace. That was exactly what Alex needed to hear.

"So," Will began, breaking himself away from Alex but resting his hands on his shoulders, Alex's on his waist, "Did you eat?" Alex shook his head. He should've. He was starving.

"No. Did you?"

"No." They were both pretty occupied for a majority of the day.

"How about we get Chinese and I can tell you all about my day today?" Alex suggested. As soon as he said that, an image of Hank crossed his mind. He focused back on Will. He was thinking.

"Hmm… well, I guess that sounds good. I'll get something with lots of veggies and low-carb. Eating something entirely unhealthy would just be counterproductive," he said, giving Alex a smile. Alex smiled back, then leaned down to quickly kiss him. He was on good terms with Will again and was relieved at that. He just couldn't shake the thought of Hank, even when he was being affectionate with his own partner. His chest was heavy


End file.
